I consider myself a pretty strong person. Everyone always comes to me when they have problems or need someone to talk to. So why is it that when I need someone I can't muster up the confidence to pick up the phone. I think to myself "Don't bother them with your problems. They have enough of their own.They probably won't listen or care anyway." So instead, I turn to food. When I am sad, I eat. When I am happy, I celebrate by eating. When I am angry, I eat to make myself happy.
I have a problem. I am an addict. And my drug of choice is food. As I sit here and write this, I am eating a piece of chocolate cake. Ironically, I am watching Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition. I also very recently looked at a friends before and after photos. I want to be successful like her. Like all of the other people that have lost weight. I really, really want to be successful in this one area I have struggled with all of my life.
So why can't I?!?! I have a picture of a Victoria Secret Model hanging on my refrigerator that I have to look at every time I go to open it. It's not working. I have tried dieting but can't make it through a day or two without failing big time. I have tried exercising but hate to sweat. The only time I have ever been able to lose weight is when I literally starved myself or am pregnant. Well, neither of those two things sound good to me.
I need to get it together. I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. Not only for myself, but for my kids. I sometimes cry at the thought of them getting picked on for having a fat mom. I wish I could find the strength to do this like I did when I decided I didn't want to be a smoker anymore. I don't have any major health problems YET. I do have hypothyroidism and take Synthyroid every morning. I also take Zoloft for depression and anxiety. And I take Labetalol for my high blood pressure. I don't know if I will ever be able to stop taking the synthroid but am pretty sure that if I dropped a few pounds I could get off of the hbp meds as well as the depression meds.
So here it is. My stats. I figured if I write it out then MAYBE something will click in my head.
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 322 lbs.
Pant Size: 22/24
Shirt Size: 2X
Waist Size: 55" :(
Wow! That is sad. Tomorrow I am going to start walking. The kids love walks, so this is a win/win situation. I'm not making any promises to myself on how long of a walk it will be but I AM going to walk. I would love to be the weight I was when Ricky & I first started dating by the end of this year. I was happy, confident, and was at the lowest weight I have ever been in my adult life. 240 lbs. Ultimately, I want to be around 180 lbs. But I am going to take baby steps. My first goal.......To get under 300 lbs by the end of August.
And Just because they are so darn cute, here's some pictures of my motivation!
You can definitely do this!!!! I am here for you and will be a shoulder to lean on or simply motivation if you need it. :) You are not alone!
ReplyDeleteYou can do it!!! You have lots of support around you. I know what it's like to emotionally eat. It's all about choices. We can choose to eat the chocolate cake, or we could have a piece of fruit instead. I know, easier said than done...fruit doesn't fulfill like chocolate :). Stay strong!!
ReplyDeleteYou can do it! I'm here for you!
ReplyDeleteI know what it's like - I'm a food addict too and an emotional eater. It's not always easy, but just take it one day at a time!
Terra, you can do this! I too am a major emotional eater! It sucks and its hard to overcome but it can be done. I hate exercising too, we have an exercise bike that I am now using- when KD goes down to a nap my first thing is to get on the bike for 20 min.. I will add time eventually but right now that is perfect for me. I too will be here if you need it! I follow a diabetic diet which is helping me big time (hubby was recently diagnosed).
ReplyDeleteJust remember, little steps one day at a time. Just like you did with smoking, choose one thing you want to change, work on it and once you accomplish it, pick another thing to add to that list of changes.
terra i know you and i dont always see eye to eye on things...but i am here for you. especially now that ricky is working with dan, i know the hours, the lonelyness, etc. it sucks. money is nice but it sucks being alone, being a single parent, etc. we're close enough and my kids adore bike rides and walks id love to meet half way and walk to a park!! i know you can do it!!!!! youre a great mom and "wife". stay strong!!
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